My Landlord Is An Idiot

image

This blog got serious for a while, but I felt compelled to share my story as it’s an important thing to be aware of.  Now, why my landlord is not the brightest of people:

- putting in leftover pizza in the microwave and forgetting it for a few days

- putting “leftover” cereal that is still in milk in the fridge

- putting a lunch box in the washer only for it to sit in there for a several days after it is cleaned to grow mold

- the fact she is using paper fare metro cards that take an extra dollar off the balance for every ride instead of the Smartrip card that costs a one-time fee of $2 to purchase when she clearly isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

image

…I am amazed.

"The secret of life is honest and fair dealing.  If you can fake that, you’ve got it made." - Groucho Marx

Harassment is NOT ok.

70-99% of women experience street harassment at some point during their lives - Hollaback.

Harassment has become an ever pressing issue in my mind ever since I took the metro this Sunday up to Maryland to meet my family visiting in that weekend for din sum.  On the way to AND back I was approached by black men jeering and leering at me in a way that made me uncomfortable.  

The first one was a middle-aged black man who begins by sitting on the other end of the bench next to me, starts with a casual hello, and then proceeds to guess my ethnicity as if it were a guess game.  I posted this as a Facebook status.  Although it seems light-hearted and even funny, it is my first experience of prolonged harassment besides the usual (it’s sad this has become the norm!) cat calls on the streets.  Upon failing to guess correctly he continues to converse by asking if I go to church, where I’m from, where I’m going, and what my name is as I reply flatly in monosyllables and very vague answers, appearing to be constantly busy on my phone.  These may seem like harmless questions but I had seen his hungry eyes were on me like I was an object he very much desired behind the glass of a shop.  He then poses the difficult questions “Don’t you want to make friends?” and “Do you want to be my friend?”  I had no reply.  I thought there was no way to answer without sounding like a complete bitch by saying “not with you” and I wanted to avoid seeming bitchy.  My mistake.  As the metro arrives there are two doors to every car.  The left door of the car directly in front of me was obviously closer but I wanted to get away from this creep and deliberately walked down to the right door.  I sat down and figured he got the message and got on the closer door.  Wrong.  A few seconds later he comes in the right door and sits directly in front of me.  I am on my toes and tense at this point, wondering what’s the worse that could happen.  Sexual assault?  Should I yell if he tried anything?  If I was assertive would that cause him to become physical and violent?  There weren’t that many people in the car either.  To play it safe I continued my facade of being busy with my phone and avoid answering whenever possible.  Before the metro reaches the next stop he insists on giving me his number so I could call him (ha! fat chance you sleeze) and asking questions like “Will I ever see  you again?”  Again to play it safe I fake taking his number down.  He gets off at this stop.  I can breathe again.

One the way back to DC from Maryland I am approached yet again by a black male.  Luckily this one realized quickly he wasn’t going to get anything out of me.  After a “hey” and “how you doin?” (yes, these were all spoken in ebonics aka broken ghetto English) and receiving snappy one word answers he moved on and wandered off.  After these two incidents on the same day I really had to reflect on these experiences.  I spent time on Google searching for information on other women’s experiences and how they dealt with them.  I realized I was too nice.  Far too nice.  I should’ve told to first black man upfront to leave me alone.  That I was not interested in being dragged into a conversation with him.  I should’ve moved to the other end of the car when he came and sat in front of me.  If he tried to touch me I should yell, call him out, and cause a scene.  No one should have the right to make me feel uncomfortable or threatened in a public space.  I shouldn’t have treated these men politely with some respect when they were treating me as an object to be gained.  And to those who blame the victims by what they were wearing, I was in a pair of thick leggings, flip flops, and a long sleeve shirt.  What a girl wears does not excuse the behavior of these men, nor does a girl deserve any sort of harassment based on her clothing.

image

I realize my experiences with harassment and cat calls are PG13 compared to what other women have experienced.  The typical cat calls I’ve gotten are “hey”, “damn”, “beautiful” or “how you doin?”.  The other variations being “you gorgeous sweetheart” as I’m peddling uphill back home all sweaty in work clothes, “*something something* until I steal that bike” as I walk my bike up a steep hill, and “Mmm dem legs” just this morning.  I was biking in leggings for those who still have the nerve to imply the prevention of harassment is a woman’s responsibility (also, you’re condemning your gender to be nothing but sex-driven pigs).

Thankfully I have not been physically harassed or assaulted, only verbally.  Some of the reactions, mostly from men, I’ve read accuse the women who receive cat calls for having a stick up their ass.  For not being able to take a joke.  That we women should take these as compliments.  These are NOT compliments!  Since when is “damn look at those titties” or “suck my dick beautiful” a compliment?  Reading comments made to women like the ones in the comic or twitter link above and calling women you don’t know “baby”, “shawty”, and “sexy” or “bitch”, “slut”, and “whore” make women feel scared and threatened, not endeared.  I am another human being and you’re treating me like a piece of meat, just walking dismembered face, tits, vagina, and ass.

Laura Bates is making a difference on this issue and the backlash she gets online from men detailing exactly how they want to rape her or disembowel her proves her project Everyday Sexism is needed in today’s society.

This woman actually confronted her cat callers and their excuses for cat calling is whats wrong with the world.  One guy states “What’s the purpose of a woman to be on this Earth but for a man?” and uses the bible as an excuse for his behavior.  Other guys simply see nothing wrong with it.  They see nothing wrong with verbally or even physically harassing women just trying to get through their day.  They don’t think it’s an issue that their actions affect women emotionally, causing her to feel ashamed, making it a situation where she self-blames, and creating a world where she feels constantly threatened.  Men in general don’t see the harassment because other men only do it when a woman is alone.  When she is in the company of a man, whether it be a coworker, friend, boyfriend, etc, the other men acknowledge that she “belongs” to him and there is a bro respect for that man’s “property”.  If you have any doubt just ask some of your female friends.  Almost each and every one will have a story to tell.

I have been fortunate enough to not have experienced much harassment until now in my 20s.  Only once at UVa I encountered it when I was wearing black heeled boots and a pair of black male football players looked me up and down as they pass and made a remark on their desire to sleep with me.  I have not worn those boots for the entire next winter season because of the discomfort that incident made me feel.  Thinking back an incident in New Jersey qualifies for harassment.  I was in my car with the windows up, and another car with four black men kept pointing at me and laughing out their windows.  They actually made the effort to stay around my car for a whole block to continue pointing and laughing.  I wasn’t able to hear anything they said, but I should’ve gone through with the urge to give them the finger.  I’ve read so many stories of girls who have experienced harassment since grade school and it has just become a “normal” thing they deal with on a daily basis.  These encounters make it difficult for women to accept a genuine compliment from a respectful man, and in the long-run may affect her view on men entirely.

Not to say men don’t ever get cat called by women or even other men, but it happens far less often.  This is a human rights issue that affects women from around the world of all ethnicities, backgrounds, and races and needs to be taken seriously.

Just set up my retirement plan…wait what?!

Real life is overrated…you have to work so much for literally everything!  Want a cupcake?  Bike 2+miles for it.  Want to read some good books?  Bike a few miles, borrow them from the library, and keep an eye on the due date like a hawk.  Want to wear a fancy dress?  Better be prepared to hand wash it in the sink later.  Ugh.

And another stark contrast to note between school and the real world:

*when you’re 21*

In school: “lol you’re so old!”

In the real world: “omg you’re so young!”

Since I haven’t had much to post on this blog spending all my time either at work, happy hours, or different places meeting cool new people, I was nostalgic and decided to include a piece from the old Myspace middle school days :D

1. Are you a morning or night person?

Night, but ever since I’ve started working my biological clock is slowly but surely switching me over to a midmorning person…not sure how I feel about this…

2. Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods?

Both, but more so sweet, and on occasion spicy too.

3.  What is your life theme song?

Ain’t It Fun - Paramore, and it probably is for all recent college grads for years to come.

4. What’s the worst dare you’ve had to do?

Kiss someone.  Not that daring of a dare if you ask me.

5. Autobots or Decepticons?

Decepticons are more badass.

6. What was your favorite childhood television program?

Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh comprised of my entire childhood.

7. Are you a collector of anything?

No, I’m not a hoarder of anything.

8. If you could be any animal, what would you be?

The African Fishing Eagle: powerful and free.  Plus nothing is daring enough to mess with you.

9. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Time control.  There never seems to be enough hours in a day.

10. What is usually your first thought when you wake up?

"What time is it?"

11. What do you usually think about right before falling asleep?

Nothing, you can’t sleep if you’re thinking and contemplating things in your life.

12. What’s your favorite color?

Dark purple

13. What’s your favorite animal?

I’m stuck between cats, quokkas, or hedgehogs…which is cuter?

14. Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?

Yes, given how large the universe is and how humans have not even been able to explore 1/100th of it there’s bound to be other life forms out there in a distant universe.

15. Do you believe in ghosts?

Possibly after watching The Haunted on The Animal Planet.  Most seem to not mean any harm.

16. Ever been addicted to a video/computer game? Which one(s)?

Oh yes…Pokemon, Spyro, Mario Kart, Dynasty Warriors, Roller Coaster Tycoon, Dragons: Rise of Berk, Asphalt 8, Candy Crush,…there probably would be more if only I owned gaming consoles and played more.

17. You’re given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?

A nice apartment for myself, a fancy bike, my brother’s tuition, my Dad’s retirement, sending my sick Grandmother to a world-known famous neurologist for treatment, and saving/investing the rest.

18. Have any bad habits?

I still sometimes bite my nails…I find nail polish helps though.

19. What are your pet peeves?

Nosiness, stupidity, and those who chew their food with their mouths wide open…disgusting.  I don’t want to see you masticating your food.

20. List 3 of your best personality traits.

Fun-loving, dedicated, and standing up for what I believe in.

21. List 3 of your worst personality traits.

Lazy, stubborn, and little tolerance for the pet peeves listed above.

22. Have any celebrity crushes?

Lee Minho,  Jiro Wang, Kim Hyun Joong, Danson Tang, Jung Yonghwa,…you get the picture.

23. List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself.

I’m happy how I am, but I wouldn’t mind being taller…say 5’7 :D

24. Any tattoos or piercings?

Only ears.  I don’t think I’ll be getting a tattoo anytime soon.

25. What’s the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?

Their face, and probably height if they’re either extremely tall or short.

26. What personality traits do you look for in a partner?

Sense of humor, considerate, compatibility, morals, passions, and their drive for success in life.

27. Speaking of partners, describe your ideal type.

Someone at least 4” taller than me, someone not too buff or scrawny, someone with a cute face (not a baby face though), someone with a strong jaw line, someone with good hygiene, someone without too much facial hair, someone with nice skin, someone with a sense of style…

Basically someone like Jung Yonghwa, but obviously I don’t expect them to look like a celebrity (but you can use him as a reference point hehe).

28. Are you mostly a clean or messy person?

I consider myself relatively clean.

29. Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years?

Probably not.  Let me find a good guy first and then I’ll let you know.

30. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

I would say Taiwan, but there are so many cons about my homeland (see Taiwan posts for the cons).  If only there was a place with all the physical surroundings of Taiwan with an American society/culture.  I would definitely move to this place.

31. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go?

I’ve been wanting to visit Europe for a while, and the other East Asian countries like Japan and Korea.

32. List 5 goals on your life’s to-do list:

1. Ascend the corporate ladder and find happiness in my career and what I do.

2. Find the right guy and only be married once.

3. Travel and see the world as much as possible while I’m young.

4. Continue a fit and healthy lifestyle.

5. Stay in touch with friends as we each pursue our own lives.

33. Name 1 regret you have.

Loosing touch with close friends from middle school after starting different high schools.

34. Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid.

The innocence of everything.

35. Name 1 thing you love about being an adult.

Calling all my own shots and there’s no one there to object and tell me otherwise.

36. What’s your favorite song of the moment?

Omg so many…but I’m going to have to say I’m Your Man - Kim Hyun Joong…I imagine he’s singing it to me hahaha.

37. What’s your favorite song of all time?

Wouldn’t say they are my favorite of all time since my list of favorite songs changes so often but here are a few on my most played list:

We Remain - Christina Aguilera

Say Something - Pentatonix

Janus - Boyfriend

佳聽眾 - 韓庚&蕭亞軒

Crushcrushcrush - Paramore

Please - Kim Hyun Joong

38. What’s your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?

I usually hang out with friends or just chill in my room for some me time during school, but now in the real world I use my Saturdays to run errands and try exploring the city more.

39. What’s your favorite thing to do during the weekdays?

Happy hours.  Nuff said.

40. Have any hidden talents?

I can move my ears.

41. You’re about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal?

Some salmon and yellowtail sashimi, some kbbq, some peking duck, and some Taiwanese egg pancakes and bubble tea.  Also, afterwards I might as well take as many tasty shots as possible since I’m gonna die anyway, might as well die happy.

42. What would be your dream job?

A job I where I can wake up in the morning and look forward to work.

43. Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love?

100 million dollars, then I can travel the world and live without worrying about financials.  Love will happen when it happens.  I don’t believe there’s only one person out there for you.

44. If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be?

1. To eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and still be healthy.

2. My parents’ bank account to be infinite.  Then they don’t have to work, my brother’s tuition is covered, and my whole family can live without worries.

3. Happiness and success in everything I do.

45) Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why?

No, there are so many more options in everything as a girl.

46. Name 1 thing not many people know about you.

I saved my best friend from high school’s life from drowning at the beach.

47. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?

Lord Voldemort.

48. Do you believe in the afterlife?

I don’t believe it matters whether I believe in it or not.  I’ll see when I get there.

49. On the topic of abortion, how do you feel about cookies?

I believe all cookies should be treated equally :P

DC Noms *updated as I go ;]*

Teaism - Bubble Tea (not pictured: Salty Oat Cookie)

image

image

West Wing Cafe - P4 Panini, Fresh Mozzarella Panini

image

image

Vapiano Happy Hour - Strawberry Basil Sangria

image

Watermelon and Pitchers of Sangria

image

Honey Pig KBBQ - Fresh Pork Belly, Boneless Rib, and Seafood Tofu Soup

image

Shilla - Sweet Bread, some other delicious cream bread, and Taro Boba

image

Oriental East - many noms

image

image

Round 2!

image

image

image

Lost Society Happy Hour - MERtini and Pinot Grigio

image

Panda Gourmet - many noms

image

image

Red Apron - Porkstrami

image

Ping Pong Din Sum Happy Hour - Lychee and Roses Martini, Hibiscus Mojito, and Signature Ping Pong Cocktail

image

China Canteen - many noms

image

MGM Roast Beef - Open Face Beef Brisket and The Belly Buster

image

Oceanaire Seafood Room - a free appetizer!, Clam Chowder, Swordfish, and Key Lime Pie

image

Einstein Bagels - jalapeno bagel with bacon, eggs, and cheese

image

Zaytinya - free bread, Kibbeh Nayeh, Fattoush, Kotopoulo Youvetsi, Horta Salata, Seared Skuna Bay Salmon, Adana Kebab, Seared Halloumi, Urfa Biftek, Greek Yogurt and Apricots, and Turkish Delight

image

image

New City, New Lifestyle

Hasn’t been all that long in DC but I like it here.  It’s not NYC, more like a city and suburban fusion, but it has its own unique quirks.  The people I work with are amazing and super friendly.  Everyone can talk to anyone and there’s no sense of hierarchy i.e. I’m the manager so I’m better than you sort of thing.  Been learning everyday on the job and honestly, I can say I’m happy here.

This is my life theme song: Ain’t It Fun - Paramore

I don’t mind letting you down easy
But just give it time
If it don’t hurt now then just wait, just wait a while

You’re not the big fish in the pond no more
You are what they’re feeding on

So what are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you?
So what are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you?

Ain’t it fun living in the real world
Ain’t it good being all alone

Where you’re from
You might be the one who’s running things
Well, you can ring anybody’s bell to get what you want

You see, it’s easy to ignore a trouble
When you’re living in a bubble

So what are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you?
So what are you gonna do when nobody wants to fool with you?

Ain’t it fun living in the real world
Ain’t it good being all alone

Ain’t it good to be on your own
Ain’t it fun you can’t count on no one
Ain’t it good to be on your own
Ain’t it fun you can’t count on no one

Ain’t it fun living in the real world

Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world

Ain’t it fun
Ain’t it fun
Baby, now you’re one of us
Ain’t it fun
Ain’t it fun

Ain’t it fun

Ain’t it fun living in the real world
Ain’t it good, ain’t it good being all alone

Ain’t it fun living in the real world
(‘Cause the world don’t orbit around you)
Ain’t it good, ain’t it good being all alone (oh)

Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
(Down to your mama)
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
(Don’t go crying to your mama)
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
(Oh, this is the real world)
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
(Don’t go crying to your mama)
This is the real world
This is the real world

Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world
Don’t go crying to your mama ‘cause you’re on your own in the real world

Lifestyle-wise it’s been a change for the better.  There was a reason I was determined to end up in a large city: exercise, whether I liked it or not.  Without a car for transportation it forces you to become healthier.  Pre-DC was a junk food fest sponsored by Mom.  These sum up my brief summer break:

21 Of The Funniest Lies Parents Ever Told Their Kids

29 Cats Who Failed So Hard They Won

29 Cats Who Failed So Hard They Won

21 Of The Funniest Lies Parents Ever Told Their Kids

Of course I couldn’t resist taking pictures of some of my food hehe.  Not pictured: Golden Corral, Old Country Buffet, and Hardy’s (because I ate it before I could…lulz). 

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

Pre real world life I also spent some time doing some of these:

Having super Asian movie nights

image

Winning the jack pot at Dave & Bruster’s

image

Pampering my virtual cat and overfeeding my Pou

image

Taking pictures of neighborhood scenery and flowers

image

Looking for butts in fruit

image

Torturing my lil bro

image

Now…everything has changed moving to the city.

Beginning to bike to work and everywhere and anywhere I’d want to go in this city has been life changing to say the least.  My Diamondback has become sort of like my first friend here.  I’ve taking it everywhere with me.  Locking it up right, oiling the chain, maintaining the tire pressures, taking precautions from bike theft, and in return its provided me a cost-free mode of transportation (after the cost of the bike and locks of course) that’s even faster than the cars on the congested roads of the city.  I feel better.  I look better (rarely do pimples decide to make an appearance on my face now).  I now know better.  Time to be healthy and show it.

imageThe first day of work I was enlisted into the company softball team (!) and sent home early to change.  Wooo!  Even got a snazzy red team jersey.  Too bad I struck out during my three battings…but I hadn’t played in six years since P.E. class in 10th grade.  I was a bit rusty, but I did get better each time I was at the plate.  Maybe next time I will be able to score a few points.  The Bud Light Lime A Rita on the side wasn’t all that bad either.  Now that’s the first beer I’ve ever liked, even if it was more like a Mike’s Hard and Bud Light mix :]

After spending more time in the city, the only annoying thing that I run across in DC on a daily basis are the black guys loitering at the corners of intersections and entrances of residential buildings, hollering or catcalling any girl that walks, runs, or bikes past them.  I try not to be racist but seriously…why are they always black?  And why do they feel the need to be a nuisance to the public?  Making an ass of themselves and their own ethnicity?  There are many negative stereotypes associated with black people, and I know it does not apply to some, but so many conform and reinforce those labels.

Either way, so far I’m happy here and that’s all that matters.  Things and issues that were part of school seem to be in the distant past.  Not yet long forgotten, but too far off to even mull about.

Now if you’d excuse me, I have a happy hour date hehehe ;]

A Snapshot In Time

"Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship" - Buddha

This blog is not only to connect with friends I am away from but also for me.  For me to be able to go back and read what my 21st year old self did and thought about certain things happening in life at the time.  To be able to view things from how I did during this major point in life.  It may seem far off but I’m sure time will fly faster than we all think and that is the end goal for outskirtsofnyc.

Now this is for the ending impressions of people I’ve interacted with most during my time at UVa.  A record of thoughts, resolutions, and the truth.  No hashtags or names in this post, but keys for me only.

-

This girl is sweeter than chocolate.  This girl has a personality that is soothing and pleasant to be in company.  This girl is an all around sweetheart and I see a bright future and a veeery lucky guy.  drift

-

This guy is someone I wish I got to know more.  This guy seems fairly easy going and humble.  This guy has seen the worst I’ve gotten (eeks, still embarrassed).  I wouldn’t mind reconnecting with this guy somewhere later down the road.  nc

-

This girl is someone who presents themselves neatly in public but lives in a complete dump.  This girl has changed into everything I find annoying: ditsy, attention seeking, and acting dumb.  This thing is something I choose to no longer be friends with.  desperate

-

This girl is a cold person.  This girl never says ‘please’ or ‘thank you’.  This girl is not someone I would be friends with even if she opened up.  stoned

-

This girl finds my humor strange, but it is mutual.  This girl likes to over think simple things.  This girl loves to have fun, but also knows when to buckle down and get to work.  This girl has grown considerably in a short amount of time and I am sure she will find what she is looking for soon.  yellow

-

This guy seems to have my sense of humor.  This guy is amusing to be around.  This guy is a bit awkward but is well loved by his friends.  battle

-

This girl is a guy’s definition of cool.  This girl is laid back and prefers low key things.  This girl and I share a similar portion of childhood.  This girl has a big drive to succeed and I’m sure she will.  chill

-

This girl has a personality that is easy to get a long with.  This girl has an admirable sense of dedication.  This girl is fun to be around and I hope she visits soon!  lairon

-

This guy is the sassy friend in a person’s group of friends.  This guy has an addiction to Shin Ramen.  This guy speaks his mind but can be considerate at times..emphasis on the ‘at times’.  shin

-

This girl has been a good friend since high school.  This girl has a way with hairpins and heating tools.  This girl is a foodie and a picture-taker.  This girl is the person I must visit when I’m back on breaks (no matter how lazy I feel).  This girl will make an awesome nurse someday.  banana

-

This guy is a smartass.  This guy is awkward.  This guy has a strong cupid’s bow that I often find myself staring at as I lack one.  This guy has a close relationship with his family, which is the only thing about him that stands out.  faith

-

This girl is overly sheltered.  This girl has a strong heart when things don’t go according to plan.  This girl is seriously studious and content with Netflix weekends.  bodos

-

This girl speaks her mind.  This girl loves rocking her cowboy boots.  This girl has a serious face but with plenty of humor.  This girl is someone I wish who wasn’t so busy to hang out more.  clark

-

This guy is a smartass, but in the best way possible.  This guy shares my humor on Facebook.  This guy should work for Reddit and is all around awesome.  gym

-

This girl is quadrilingual.  This girl loves to laugh and is highly curious.  This girl is someone I hope to be able to see more often.  balls

-

This girl  understands my adventures with food.  This girl can hold her liquor like no other (even I’m beat…impressive).  This girl loves to shop for international beauty products since Western products just don’t cut it.  This girl is just as I remembered.  frenchies

-

This guy is liked by everyone.  This guy has endless ambition, works hard, but still has time to play.  This guy gives a carefree impression, but has a serious and caring interior.  This guy is the type of person I see myself with.  sights

-

This girl is fiercely independent.  This girl is relatively easy going and carefree, but also serious and contemplative underneath it all.  This girl is a giant foodie and would try half the things on Bizzare Foods. This girl has a soft spot for animals.  This girl has a skill with makeup and cosmetics.  This girl can’t stand to see friends make dumb decisions or be put in the position to be lied to.  This girl is stubborn, ambitious, and competitive.  This girl has no regrets.  This girl is me.